A Best Friend
by LJLL
Summary: Lily Evans had a best friend for most of her life, until just after she turned sixteen. After that, she couldn't really call anyone her best friend for a while. Not until the last two months of sixth year. Seventh year, Lily didn't lose her best friend to gain her boyfriend; her best friend became her boyfriend. For the first time, she had both. And James, James she never lost.


Lily didn't know it at the time, she genuinely, honestly didn't know it, but it was her last summer with her best friend. And it wasn't a very exciting summer at that.

She went to the Snape's once, and Severus came to her house only twice. Mostly, they went to the park, which was conveniently equidistant from both their houses, and made sandcastles. Lily was never sure why, but whenever they made plans to meet, even when she was fifteen minutes early, Sev was always there, always building sandcastles.

One day, she asked him.

"Why do you always make sandcastles?"

"They relax me," was what he'd told her.

She didn't push it farther, though she could tell that wasn't the reason at all.

They'd always chat while making them, usually about their childhood, random memories from when they'd first met. Neither of them ever brought up Petunia yelling at Lily, and neither of them ever brought up the upcoming school year. It was an unspoken rule between them.

One day, Lily brought it up.

"How come we never talk about the new school year?"

Sev looked at her, always too long, before answering. "We can."

Lily beamed. "I really hope I get made a Prefect. Even though I know I wasn't born into a magical family, I don't think it'll matter. Professor Dumbledore doesn't take things like that into consideration."

Sev watched her speak, watched her lips move, and then answered her. "Of course not."

Lily chose to believe him. "What about you, Sev? Do you hope to get made Prefect?"

He hadn't watched her speak that time, instead intent on furthering the construction of their sandcastle. He shrugged. "I don't really care, Lily."

Despite his disinterest, when her Hogwarts letter arrived, he was the first one she told.

She ran out of the house, yelling where she'd gone over her shoulder to her mum as she was leaving. Her summery skirt flapping around her knee caps, letter clutched in her hand, face alight with excitement, she ran all the way to the Snapes'. She knocked on the door, beaming.

Snape opened it, a smile forming on his lips. "Lily, what are you-"

"I got Prefect!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms around him.

He hugged her back, too long, and she pulled away.

"Did you? Did you? Sev, what if we were Prefects together? Wouldn't that be exciting? Oh, I really hope you got made Prefect too!"

Obligingly, he trudged inside and retrieved his letter. (Lily wasn't allowed inside the house, not anymore.) Lily waited patiently outside. He came back and opened it, smiling at Lily as she rocked back and forth on her heels in excitement. "Dear Mr. Snape," he read, "we are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to be the Slytherin House Fifth Year Prefect."

Lily squealed and hugged him again. This time when she pulled away, he was actually grinning. "Looks like we're Prefects together."

She grinned back. "I have to go, Mum told me to be right back, but we'll hang out later! Practice some magic before September!" And then she was off, running back down the street.

She'd phoned the Snapes a week later, but hadn't received a phone call back. Instead, she got a surprise guest. It was the middle of the night, and Sev was at her door.

Her mouth opened in surprise. "Hey, Sev,"

He smiled at her, watching her mouth move over her words. "Hello, Lily, sorry for dropping by."

She waved away his concern. "It's not a problem, come in."

"Sorry I didn't call you back."

She shrugged. "You're here, it's okay." It would've been nearly impossible to miss the smirk he gave her, but she chose to ignore it.

Severus stayed for dinner that night, and Lily walked him home. It would've been hard to miss the way he hesitated at his door, the way he gazed at her, the way it seemed as if he was waiting for her to do something, for her permission, but she did. Instead, she hugged him and walked back home in the dark.

Most of the time she ignored it, but sometimes Lily let herself think about it.

"My best mate has a crush on me."

It was obvious, really, the way he watched her when she talked, his dark eyes always straying to her mouth, or to her chest, no matter what she wore. The way he treated her, always smiling, always trying to please her, accepting that they'd do what she wanted with no disagreement from his end. She wanted to tell Tuney. When she went to her older sister's room, she walked in on Petunia snogging a blonde boy. Lily ended up keeping it to herself.

It didn't really start to bother her until August. August was an unbearably hot month in Cokeworth, and Lily took to managing the weather with tank tops and short shorts. She and Sev went to the park, like they always did every Wednesday, and they made their sandcastle. Lily stood up, to wipe the sand off her bum, and caught Sev staring. It was uncomfortable from then on.

"I just don't feel that away about him," she told her audience, comprised of her few stuffed animals and a couple of textbooks she'd gotten out of her trunk for company. "I mean, he's great, he's my best mate. But he just... doesn't do it for me."

Her stuffed animals nodded their understanding, but her textbooks were not so easily convinced. _Why? _They asked her. _What's wrong with him?_

"Nothing's w_rong _with him," Lily responded defensively, "he's just not it."

Her textbooks remained unconvinced.

Lily huffed. "He doesn't make my heart race!" She exploded. "His fingertips don't send tingles down my spine, I don't have the mad urge to kiss him every second of every day, I just don't think about him like that!"

She paused, pouting, staring accusingly at her textbooks. "Are you happy now?"

_So, who does make you feel that way?_

Lily frowned. "Well, no one."

_No one makes your heart race? No one? Really, Lily? You expect us to believe that?_

And there it was, what she'd been fighting against all summer, what she'd been trying so hard to keep buried. "My heart races when I'm angry," she admitted, "but only because he makes me so frustrated! He fancies himself so attractive, I know it! Because he's good at Quidditch and because he's intelligent and clever and handsome he thinks every girl ought to worship the ground he walks on!" Lily huffed, crossing her arms.

Her textbooks were smug after that and didn't ask anymore questions.

It was the middle of August, and Sev cancelled their sand-castle making without telling her why. Lily didn't see Sev again until September. They didn't drive to King's Cross together, but they arrived at almost the same time, anyway. They went to the Prefects' meeting together, and Lily came out of it feeling really confident. _I can actually do this. I can actually be responsible and be a Prefect._ She was beaming when she left with Severus, excitedly announcing her ideas and plans for the year.

"You'll be great, Lily," he assured her, smiling.

"Great at what?" piped up a new voice. But the speaker wasn't looking at Severus, he was looking at her.

Lily took a deep breath. "I've been made a Prefect."

James nodded, comprehending this new information. "I'm not surprised."

Lily raised a brow. "Is that a compliment, Potter?"

James grinned. "It sure is, Evans. In fact, what do you say we celebrate your achievement at the first Hogsmeade weekend? We can go get butterbeers, get to know each other."

"Like a date?" she question, fighting the boredom that threatened to creep into her tone. They were on the bloody train and Potter was already asking her out?

"If you want," he responded easily.

Lily would never admit it, not to Sev and not even to herself, but the way he smirked at her made her heart race. "I don't think so, Potter."

James shrugged easily. "Maybe next time, then."

Lily said nothing as he left. He didn't seem upset about it, at least, so she told herself not to feel bad about it.

It took Sev an hour after that to look at her without glaring, to loosen up, and to actually laugh again.

Lily tried not to notice.

But that night when she laid awake, back in her fourposter, she wondered why. Not why Sev didn't like it when she talked to James, she already knew, apart from plain old rivalry, because he had a crush on her, but why she said no to James, why she always said no to James. It was routine, she supposed. It wasn't that she wanted to date him-anything she felt for him was purely physical and she blamed her maturing body's hormones-but she also couldn't.

For one thing, James Potter was a giant prat. He was arrogant and pigheaded and it was a wonder his broomstick could get off the ground with his ego. But for another, Sev would never speak to her again. And she didn't want to lose her best friend.

Lily didn't know it, but fifth year would be her last with Sev. After OWLS, he'd call her something he couldn't take back, something he'd never be able to take back, and she'd lose him forever. She'd be sad about it for a long time, for over a year.

Lily had Emme sixth year, and Emme was lovely, and she loved her dearly, and she had Marlene and Remus and Mary and Hestia and all other people to talk to. But she didn't have a best friend.

At the end of sixth year, she got a best friend.

It was James. She called him 'James' now. They were friends, after all. And that's all they were. He hadn't asked her out since fifth year; he never made physical advances on her; she never caught him staring at her anymore; they worked together in class, and he never made comments about how good she smelled or how beautiful she was; they were just mates, and that was it. But, Merlin, could he make her laugh.

He still made her heart race, as he always had, but now he made her laugh, too. The kind of laughing that's all out, where she snorted, where she teared up, where she rolled around on the floor, where she lost her voice and could do nothing but shake silently and hysterically. But that wasn't all.

His smile was infectious. She frequently found herself smiling just because he was, even if they weren't in the same conversation. She found herself wanting to be around him constantly, wanting to touch him, wanting him to touch her. By the end of sixth year, she'd realized she had feelings for James Potter. But she also knew he'd completely moved on from her. And Merlin, it hurt.

He was so wonderful, and she really, really liked him, and he had liked her for so long, and he didn't like her anymore. She had actually missed her chance. It stung. It stung like the venomous tantacula she and James had worked on in Herbology that she'd gotten bitten by when she was staring at him and wasn't paying attention.

Seventh year, with renewed determination to get James to like her again-after all, he hadn't dated anyone for an entire year, surely that meant something?-Lily was Head Girl and James was Head Boy. They got closer, even closer then they'd gotten the last two months of sixth year, and Lily got her wish. But she found some things out too.

He'd never stopped fancying her. In fact, he'd fancied her since fifth year. Later, she'd find out he'd loved her for just as long.

Seventh year, Lily had a best friend and a boyfriend, and they just so happen to be the same person. James wasn't her everything, but he was damn close.


End file.
